The Richer Sex by Liza Mundy

Author:Liza Mundy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2012-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

“You’re Not a Whore if You’re Not Getting Paid for It”: Women Will Become More Sexually Secure

But the good news for women is something Kirshenbaum also is seeing in her practice: more and more, men are attracted to high-achieving women. And staying attracted. Men, she says, “are increasingly turned on by women who have interesting, dynamic careers and are turned off by women who just stay home and have little to talk about at the end of the day.” The good news is that sexual tastes are changing, which is not surprising if masculinity and femininity are social constructs. More and more, women’s earnings and the vitality they reflect are markers of sexual desirability. On campuses, men’s scarcity may enable some to play the field, but women’s independence is a powerful countervailing force. Of the younger women I interviewed who were having lots of hookups—especially once they got out of college, and had a larger pool of men available—many were very clear that the purpose was maximum exploration. “I generally tend to have sex fairly early in my relationships,” said one 24-year-old woman who estimated she had had forty sexual partners. “I feel like I will have very thoroughly investigated my options when I do settle down.”

These sentiments were borne out by the women at the brunch table in Atlanta. Though they took pains not to embarrass men in public by conspicuously paying for everything, in their intimate relationships these women felt their independence made it much more possible for them to have the kind of sex they wanted. They talked about this for hours, sitting on a sunny Saturday at a tavern called Marlow’s, smart-phones arrayed on the table before them much as women in a prior generation might have fanned out bridge hands. “I think it gives us more confidence,” said the entrepreneur, who in her early twenties was making close to $90,000. Even before she was earning that kind of money, she felt her ambition endowed her with sexual assertiveness and a willingness to speak up about her needs. Back in her undergraduate days, she recalled, she went to a routine ob-gyn visit during which the doctor—also female—asked if she was having sex. She said she was not having intercourse, but was having lots of foreplay. Her doctor told her that was ideal, both for health and sexual satisfaction, and recommended she stick with just foreplay as long as she could get away with it. “She was so adamant,” the entrepreneur related. “I was like, you’re right! So yeah! Even after college, I was still just: that was all they were going to get. And they knew it, and they were just happy, and it was awesome. I was really amazed that I went so long without actually having sex when I was getting naked on a regular basis.”

The entrepreneur reminisced happily, remembering that when she was in college she would tell friends: “Oh, I hooked up last night, it was amazing, and I kicked him out—I was like, ‘Okay, I’m done.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.